Author: J. M. Sagardia

For more information about the author visit www.chemisagardia.com
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TIME MATTERS – CHAPTER 20: The Time Particle

Image of the Time Particle

‘Einstein’ monopolized the computer and his concentration was such that it vanquished me from his reality. The tiredness associated to the day’s events finally caught up with me so I went to bed leaving my distinguished visitor to his cerebral pursuits.

I laid down on my bed for some sleep but my eyes kept going to the point in the room where the blue light wall had been before. A question popped up in my mind: does time have a tool for the materializing process? I remembered the Timekeeper saying that time interacts with the energy of the future(1) in what constitutes the materializing process that is the present. I wondered what did time use to create the future? It definitely wasn’t the staff-like thingamajig the Timekeeper carried around. But while on that line of thought, I mulled over whether the sparks coming out of it were a clue to finding the answer to such a question.

Tiredness finally won, and as soon as I nodded off I found myself back in the Anteverse.

“Well, well, well… good to see you’re back to finish our conversation,” said the Timekeeper twirling the sparking stick while tipping his glass hat. “Where were we?”

“You said the constant humming I hear in this place is the sound of time building the future. And I was wondering what, if anything, does time uses as a tool to do its materializing?” I asked.

“The tool, as you call it, is a primordial particle that infuses energy with mass. Scientists in your reality named it the Higgs boson, the mass giver. I believe you might have heard of it by its most common name: God’s Particle. A designation disliked by physicists but one that is understandable in the cultural context of the creator god when you take in consideration that this particle creates matter where there isn’t any. The term is really a misnomer for the boson has nothing to with God and everything to do with time. It should be called Time’s Particle.”

I woke up…

I had no idea how long I had been in bed. All I knew at the time was that it was still dark and I was too excited to sleep, so I went straight to my computer and found ‘Einstein’ gone. Not the kind of surprise that would give me a heart attack, but it would have been nice to have him around to talk about the Higgs boson being time’s particle. Sans Einstein, the only option left was Mr. Google.

My search revealed that the term boson pays homage to the Indian theoretical physicist Satyendra Nath Bose, best known for the quantum mechanics work that provided the foundation for the Bose-Einstein statistics. By that time it didn’t surprised me anymore that Einstein’s name kept popping up everywhere I went.

The Higgs boson was named after Peter Higgs, the British theoretical physicist who predicted the existence of this particle way back in the sixties. Its presence was initially recorded in 2012 at the CERN’s Large Hadron Collider, and finally confirmed in 2014. There are several types of bosons and all of them have an integer spin, but the Higgs boson is the only one with zero spin, and it’s the one responsible to give mass to other fundamental particles. But, what I found to be the most interesting fact about the Higgs boson was that they break apart in approximately a ten-sextillionth (10-22) of a second. At the time I thought that number could very well be the time it took the present to materialize!

I sat for a long time staring at the computer screen. I wasn’t expecting a finding like that. Holy crap! I had stumbled into a possible measurement of the instant that is the present. I don’t know how long I sat there motionless. All I know is that at one point I fell asleep on the chair. The sun came up and a tiny ray hit me straight in the face. I woke up and stumbled to the couch where I continued my slumber.

It was way past noon and I was still asleep when I heard the knock on the door.

 

(1) Check out the full extent of what the Timekeeper said in Chapter 16: Bowl Time Revelations

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TIME MATTERS – CHAPTER 21: Gina Smells Something Funny

Abstract representation of Gina smelling the pipe tobacco smoke

The knocking seemed to be taking place on a very distant door. Slowly, and I mean very “despacito”, it pulled me back to the world of the living. I got up, shuffled my feet all the way to the door to open it and find Gina standing there with a worried look on her face.

“How did the presentation go?” I mumbled.

“What’re you taking about? It’s Sunday. Ray are you OK? You look worse than yesterday. And what’s that smell?”

“Sorry, lost track of time. You wouldn’t believe what happened after I left last night.” And then it hit me. “Wait, what did you say? What smell?”

“The tobacco stench. Did you start smoking?”

My eyes opened wide and I grinned, “You can smell it?!”

“Jesus Ray, I’m sure your neighbors two floors down can smell it. But it isn’t the typical cigarette odor, it reeks more like pipe tobacco. Oh my God, don’t tell me you’ve picked up pipe smoking.”

“It is the smell of pipe tobacco. How did you know?”

“My grandfather used to smoke pipe and I learned the difference between the smell of cigarettes and the scent of pipe tobacco when I was little. Ray, what’s going on? The security guard downstairs told me they didn’t find anything on the surveillance tapes(1) and that he’s worried about you. When I asked him why he was telling me this he said you had recently added me to the list of people to call in case of emergency and that he thought I should know this. What were they looking for in those tapes? What aren’t you telling me? But please, before you say anything go brush your teeth; it’s past noon but your morning breath is killing me.”

“Sorry, I’ll be right back.”

I went over to the bathroom and from there I asked her where were the kids and to what did I owe the honor of her visit on a Sunday afternoon.

“My sister picked them up after breakfast this morning and something told me that it would be a good idea to check up on you. You didn’t look too well yesterday and as soon as I talked to your Scottish friend downstairs I realized my hunch was right on the money.”

After brushing my teeth I put on a fresh shirt and went back to Gina.

“I thought you didn’t babysit coworkers,” I said with a smirk.

“I was checking up on a friend not a coworker,” she said without missing a beat, as usual. “Now, is there anything you would like to share with me? Something about certain surveillance tapes, perhaps.”

“You better sit down,” I said. “There’s something I didn’t tell you about the dreams. Einstein was never part of them. He’s been visiting me… I know this sounds absolutely crazy. I thought it was all a figment of my imagination until a few minutes ago when you noticed the tobacco smell. He’s the one who’s been smoking pipe during his visits. Well, in his earlier ones, until I told him to stop smoking in here(2). Building security has been checking the surveillance tapes since the first day he showed up. The fact they haven’t found anything in them isn’t the strangest part of the story, the truly bizarre aspect of all this is that nobody but me seems to be able to see, hear or notice the guy. Well, until now that you smelled his pipe smoking.”

“Wow… I don’t know what to say Ray. This is worse than I thought.”

“What do you mean worse…?”

“Well, I thought you might be suffering from exhaustion, or maybe a virus, not that you were having hallucinations. Yesterday you told me that Professor Murdock thought you needed professional help. Was he referring to these Einstein visits? Does he know about it?”

I nodded in the affirmative and went over to my room to pick up Einstein’s handwritten note. When I came back to the living room I handed it to the Gina.

“He gave me this during one of his visits. The professor checked the handwriting and it matches the real Einstein’s. These are not hallucinations Gina. The fact that you can smell the pipe scent is proof of that.”

“Does the professor think that all this is real?” she asked.

“Not exactly…”

“Raymond Young, spit it out.”

“He thinks these encounters might be schizophrenic in nature, and has an explanation for everything that has happened(3). But he hasn’t been in this apartment and thus hasn’t been exposed to the pipe smell.”

“Ok, let’s invite him over and see if he can come up with one,” said Gina.

 

(1) For more details on the surveillance tapes check out Chapter 5: Der Depperte and Chapter 7: Desperately Seeking Subtitles

(2) Read how Ray tells ‘Einstein’ to stop smoking in his apartment  in Chapter 13: A Not So Silent Night

(3) Take a look at Professor Murdock’s explanation in Chapter 10: The Akashic Records and Chapter 11: The Professor Calling

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TIME MATTERS – CHAPTER 22: The Dear Ray Letter

Ray reads Einstein's farewell letter

I tried unsuccessfully to contact the Professor and after a few tries I finally left him a somewhat cryptic voice mail:

“Hi Professor, it’s Ray calling on Sunday at 2:20 in the afternoon, please give me a call as soon as you can. There’s been a new development that you should know about. Come to think of it, it would be better if instead of calling, you could stop by my apartment. I’ll send you the pin. I’m not going anywhere, so anytime will be fine. Thanks.”

“Well, that’s that,” I told Gina, who was getting ready to leave.

“I have to stop by the office to make sure everything’s in place for tomorrow’s Chronologix presentation. Please keep me in the loop. I mean that Ray, whatever’s happening with you is really serious.”

I escorted her to the door and as soon as she was gone I heard his voice again.

“Zat young voman is special to you isn’t sche?”

“Yes she is,” I said smiling.

“I like her, sche’s ein Princetonian. From 1933 to 1955 I vorked at zee Institute for Advanced Schtudies in zee town of Princeton und lectured regularly at zee Univerzity, vich, by zee vay, has produced zirty-zeven Nobel laureates. Mostly phyzicists und mathematicians.”

“She knows you’ve been here. The pipe smell gave you away.”

“Hmm ja, zee lingering scent of pipe tobacco. I uzed to step outzide zee room vere I’d been smoking zo I could reenter it a few minutes later und enjoy zee aroma better. It feels different vile one’s smoking. It is ein rather pleazant smell ven compared to zee very much offenzive cigar und cigarette stench.”

“Forget about the pipe smell. Listen, all this time I’ve made my peace with the fact that you could very well be a figment of my imagination, but now…”

“Relax Ray, I’ve come to zay goodby.”

“What? Why? Where are you going?”

“There’s nothing elze for me to do here. It’s all your doing from now on.”

I was about to ask him what was it that I was supposed to do when he simply raised his hand signaling me to hold my tongue and listen to him.

“I’m not good at farevells zo I vrote you zomething in your compuder. It’s been ein real pleazure knoving you Ray Young. Now if you’ll excuze me I’ll find mein vay to zee door.”

And just like that my strange visitor, the one I had come to believe was truly Albert Einstein, turned around and walked away through the same door Gina had used a few minutes earlier. I stood motionless staring at it for a while, hoping that it was all a joke and that he would come back. I had grown fond of the old man. After a while I slowly turned around and went to my computer. His message was on the screen.

 

Dear Ray:

It will probably be hard for you to accept the true nature of what has transpired here this past week. I know my presence has defied all logic and made you question your own sanity. Everything will become clear in due time and regardless of what others might think in the days to come, rest assured that all will be well in Ray Young’s mind.

You are a creative director, a concept man. Viewing situations from a new or unexpected angle is what you do for a living. Imagination is what fuels your everyday life. As you may know, I believe that imagination is everything. Without it there would be no new inventions or new developments. The raising of new questions, new possibilities, requires creative imagination. Knowledge is what we already know, but imagination is a preview of life’s coming attractions. Unfortunately the establishment many times values knowledge more than it does creativity. It will always fight new ideas that promote change because it feels threatened. It perceives the acceptance of a change in paradigm as an acknowledgement of having being wrong instead of it being part of an evolution process.

During this process you have come up with a new hypothesis for the nature of time. But you’re not a physicist or an astrophysicist, so the establishment will not take your ideas seriously. In the beginning it will ignore you completely. If compelled to acknowledge your ideas then it will ridicule them and try to discredit you.

Remember that when you rattle a cage, the creature inside feels threatened. That’s why some members of the establishment will even call you crazy and disregard your ideas as those of someone who knows nothing about how the universe works. They will say that I must be turning in my grave, but we both know that’s a physical impossibility ;-). They will call you many names and discredit your ideas. But somewhere there’s going to be a young physicist who will come in contact with your concept and think that there might be something there. That physicist will follow the procedures accepted by the establishment, will do the math the way it should be done, discard what doesn’t work, keep what does work and someday that person will present a solid thesis inspired by your story.

It’s been a pleasure working with you Ray, and if anybody tries to make you feel like an unknowledgeable clod, tell them that the true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. Tell them Albert Einstein said so.

 

After reading his message I was convinced I lacked the knowledge of the language needed to express how I felt. I got up and walked zombie-like to the kitchen to get me a cup of much needed java. The canister where I kept the ground coffee was empty so I opened the cupboard where I stored the extra coffee. A small plastic bag was peeking out from behind a new can of a Puerto Rican gourmet brand. Pulled the can out of the cupboard and there it was: a pipe with a bag of tobacco.

I felt nauseous. I heard a knock on the door but the whole room started to spin and I lost consciousness.

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TIME MATTERS – CHAPTER 23: Bedside Manners

Image of ghostly figure in hospital room bed

I woke up quite disoriented… on a bed that wasn’t mine… in a room I couldn’t recognize. Professor Murdock was seating by the door reading something on his iPhone. He noticed me waking up and approached the bed.

“Welcome back to the world of the living Raymond. You gave us quite a scare back there.”

“Where am I?”

“St. Joseph’s Hospital.”

“What? Why? I asked still groggy.

“I got your message yesterday asking me to stop by your apartment, but when I arrived nobody answered the door. Figured you had gone out and decided to leave, but as I walked through the lobby I casually mentioned to the security guard that you weren’t in. He found that curious because Ms. Caulder had left just a bit earlier and you hadn’t been through his station after that.

“I told him about the message asking me to stop by and he got worried. Exaggeratedly so, I might add. He asked me in a heavy Scottish accent to accompany him back up to your apartment, and once upstairs he knocked on your door and dialed your phone with no answer to either. He then called somebody to ask for authorization to enter the apartment using what he referred to as ‘the security protocol’. After explaining the situation to whoever was at the other end of the line he got authorized to enter.”

“His name is Alastair. The security guard’s name is Alastair,” I interjected.

“A very nice fellow. A little rough on the edges, but very capable. Anyway, once inside we found you unconscious on the kitchen floor. That’s when Alastair called 911 and we ended up here,” said the Professor gesturing with his arms to show me the hospital room. “The doctor says you need plenty of rest because the whole chain of events was most probably caused by acute exhaustion. They still have to do some tests but that’s the initial prognosis.”

“What do you mean by the whole chain of events?”

The Professor’s answer was delayed by the entrance of Gina and Bob.

“Oh good, you’re back with us,” said Bob. “Sorry it took us so long to get here buddy but the Chronologix presentation kept dragging on an on.”

“That’s usually a good sign in a new business pitch. Good for you guys!” I said.

“Well you know how it is. These things can be very unpredictable. Some times they make you feel like you hit the ball out of the ballpark and then give the assignment to somebody else. So we’ll do all the follow-up antics during the next couple of days and keep our fingers crossed. We’ll know for sure in a week. How are you feeling?” said Bob.

“Dizzy… a bit unfocused… like I’ve been disconnected from reality for ages. How long was I out?”

“Close to 24 hours,” said Gina. “I got here last night after Alastair called…”

“Alastair called you?” I asked surprised.

“Of course he did. You added me to the list of people to call in an emergency. You remember that don’t you? I tend to agree with him that finding you unconscious on the floor of your apartment qualifies as an emergency. Anyway that’s not all he did. He also made sure that the people in the hospital knew that the Professor and I were authorized by you to receive information regarding your medical condition.”

“Wow, I didn’t know he could do that,” I said.

“Which brings me to the point at hand before you two arrived,” said Professor Murdock. “You’re here today Ray because of a whole chain of events that started way before you started seeing this Einstein character.”

“What Einstein character?” asked Bob.

“We’ll explain to you later Bob,” said Gina.

“You had been working very long hours and sleeping poorly for a while,” said the Professor, “and that brought forth an exhaustion induced brief psychotic disorder during which two things happened. First you bought a pipe and some tobacco and started smoking it without any recollection of doing so. That’s what caused the blister on your tongue by the way. Then the pipe smoking served as a trigger for the Einstein hallucinations.”

“So Einstein was never there…” I said with a hint of sadness, “but it all felt so real. It still does…”

“All in your head,” said Gina.

“And speaking of that, I brought something that will make your head feel a lot better,” said Bob as he got a Stanford cap out of a paper bag and placed it on my head. “Don’t you feel a lot smarter now? I figured you would need one after Saturday’s YO! Bowl.”

I took the cap off my head and looked at it while pondering the consequences of my alma mater losing the Notre Dame/Stanford game.(1)

“Thanks for the gesture Bob, I’ll be sure to wear it when I get back to the office,” I said sarcastically.

“I’ll have the cameras ready to go,” said a grinning Bob.

A nurse came in the room and announced that visiting hours would be over in 10 minutes. Gina said something to the nurse that I couldn’t hear and soon after, everybody said their goodbyes and I dozed off again… just to ‘wake up’ almost immediately back in the Anteverse.

 

(1) For the details on the consequences Ray has to face due to Notre Dame losing to Stanford  see CHAPTER 16: Bowl Time Revelations

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TIME MATTERS – CHAPTER 24: Mind Over Matter

Dreamlike image of man running in the clouds

I opened my eyes to find myself back in the Anteverse.

“You’ve been a pretty busy man,” said a voice behind me.

I turned around and came face to face with the unearthly Timekeeper.

“The materializing process associated with your ideas has been pretty interesting,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“Although ideas are immaterial, pure energy constructs if you will, they do produce actions in the material realm.”

“I don’t understand…”

“As you lay in a hospital bed, people are reacting to your ideas and furthering the concepts you’ve brought forth.”

“But how can that be? I haven’t…”

“Your friend the Professor has been making inquiries. And those queries have prompted other minds to question their previous beliefs. Your ideas on time have taken on a life of their own Ray.”

“But ideas are energy, as you said; how do you come in contact with them in the materializing process?”

“Ideas shape the present. Many times in the human experience matter is shaped by the ideas that first envision its form.

“Some people believe that what happens in the mind is not real, but the truth is that everything that transpires in the energy universe residing in your brain is as real as the material world around you. Even the most outlandish ramblings of a mad person are real because they exist in our reality. The only difference between the energy constructs within our mind and the physical ones around us is the presence of matter in the latter. But matter is not what makes something real. If such were the case, then we would have to conclude that feelings like love, pride, and gratefulness don’t exist.

“This is important because it would be erroneous to believe that your interactions with Einstein didn’t happen because they only occurred in your head.”

“But the doctors…” I interrupted.

“The doctors gave you their diagnosis and I ask you: did it say that nothing happened?”

“No of course not, it said that I had some sort of psychotic disorder.”

“That’s right. And that diagnosis certifies that the events, which transpired inside your mind, did in fact occur. As I said before, everything that happens in your mind is real. And by definition, so are dreams like this one. If you take only one thing with you from this experience let it be to keep on dreaming Ray. Dreams define the shape the world takes in the future. Einstein once said that imagination is a preview of life’s coming attractions and if so, then I would say that dreams are the trailers.”

As the Timekeeper talked I felt myself being pulled away from his realm back to the hospital bedroom. It was dark but I could see Gina sitting next to my bed reading something on her iPad. There was a knock on the door and a nurse came in with some pills for me to take.

“What time is it?” I asked Gina as soon as the nurse left.

“Close to midnight,” she said.

“This might be the medications talking, but I could have sworn I saw you leave with the others once visiting hours were over.”

“I did, but just to pick some stuff in my car, and then came back up. Talked to the head nurse about staying with you for the night.”

“I thought you didn’t babysit coworkers,” I said with a smirk.

“Ray, Ray, Ray you can be so dense for some things. Of course I don’t baby sit coworkers,” she said and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

 

EPILOGUE

Commencement day at Princeton University some years later… Gina and I are walking hand in hand through the beautiful campus.

“I really liked the main speaker’s speech,” said Gina.

“Absolutely. I read some of his work on the matter of time and found it fascinating. It’s amazing what brilliant scientific minds can do with science-fiction concepts. They always find a way to make the impossible a reality. He deserved the Nobel,” I said.

“And look at you, with a Princeton degree.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” I said kissing her.

“Well, you’re a Tiger now.”

“An Irish Tiger,” I said.

“That sounds German… Irishteiger,” said Gina smiling.

On a bench close by, an old man lowered the newspaper he was reading, looked at me and winked. I could have sworn he looked exactly like Albert Einstein.

 

T  H  E     E  N  D

 

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THE ANTARES SECRET

Title image for The Antares Secret. Is this the truth behind the Space Race?

Many conspiracy theories have been concocted regarding the Space Race of the Sixties. Some going as far as to claim that the United States never made it to the Moon and that everything was staged in a studio on Earth. Lucas Aldrich was one of the many young boys engrossed with the fantastic voyage to the stars in those years and, as an adult began to search for the truth among the many stories of deceit. What he found was that, hidden in plain sight, the Apollo astronauts found a way to tell the truth through NASA’s smoke screen. Welcome to The Antares Secret.

 

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THE ANTARES SECRET – CHAPTER 1: Moonbeam

Full Moon over the ocean

Lucas Aldrich was already sipping his margarita at the Mexican restaurant when his daughter arrived.

“Hey Dad! Sorry I’m late. Clients sometimes forget that one needs to have lunch.”

“Don’t worry about it Moonbeam.”

Moonbeam was Lucas’ nickname for his daughter Vega. The moniker’s inspiration was a TV interview he had seen of Astronaut Gene Cernan’s daughter in the early 70’s in which she claimed her father had promised to bring her a moonbeam from his trip to the Moon. One day, many years ago, while playing with her daughter, Lucas tied a beach towel around his neck and called himself Rocket Man. Little Vega wanted to be a superhero too, and he suggested the name so they could become the space adventurers Rocket Man and Moonbeam. She loved it and the nicknames evolved into terms of endearment between them. The fact that Vega developed a keen interest in her father’s two favorite hobbies – baseball and the 1960’s space race, helped perpetuate their special sobriquets.

But that was a long time ago and now she was a very busy professional woman so a while ago they had started a tradition of having lunch together, just the two of them every Wednesday rain or shine. Nice father/daughter quality time. This time it was at their favorite Mexican restaurant.

“Hey Rocket Man, easy on the tequila, you’re not so young anymore.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” he said.

“I didn’t say old, I said not so young.”

“Leave it to lawyers to nitpick about the language.”

“Hey you’re in communications. You’re the one who taught me to be meticulous about the words I choose to express an idea.”

A waiter briefly interrupted the conversation to ask Vega what she wanted to drink. She ordered a frozen margarita and asked for a minute to decide on an appetizer. They went with their usual chihuahuas with jalapeños.

“So, how’s everything? How did it go with Dalia’s aunt?” Vega asked her father.

A couple of weeks ago Vega had introduced Lucas to her colleague Dalia’s aunt, a pretty attractive divorcée that she thought would be a good match for her widowed father. They seemed to hit it off, and during their last lunch together Lucas mentioned they were going out on a date that following Friday.

“It was OK,” said Lucas matter-of-factly, “she’s a very smart woman…”

“Buuuuut…” said Vega waiting for the perennial ‘but’ that her father had her accustomed to.

“I don’t know, it’s hard to describe. I just couldn’t find a meaningful connection.”

“Dad, Mom died ten years ago.  I know her absence still hurts but It’s time to move on. No one will be like her, but you must give yourself a chance to experience a meaningful relationship with someone different.”

“I guess I’m just not ready yet Moonbeam. Not ready,” said Lucas looking at his margarita.

“Sorry Dad, I didn’t mean… I just want you to be happy.”

Vega’s frozen margarita arrived with the spicy chihuahuas and before they both dug in they ordered lunch. Again, no surprises there, a Swiss burrito for Lucas and chicken fajitas for Vega.

“Did you watch the game last night?” she asked changing the topic.

“You bet I did, the Indians came from behind in the ninth inning. Sorry about your Yankees,” said Lucas.

“This is the year… right,” said Vega smiling.

Lucas was a Cleveland Indians fan, a major league franchise that hadn’t won a championship since 1948. But being a fan of such a hard luck team wasn’t always the case for him. In the 70’s Lucas was a hardcore fan of the Cincinnati Reds – the fabled Big Red Machine. And in his hometown he cheered for a local team called the Lions. Both enjoyed several championship runs when he was a kid. Then in the 1990’s he saw a movie called Major League and he became infatuated with the then hapless Indians.

“This is the year,” said Lucas smiling and winking at his daughter.

“Are you playing fantasy baseball this year?” asked Vega.

“Oh yeah, the Red Lions are at it again and we are off to a good start. We play the Kitty Hawks tonight.”

“Kitty Hawks as in the Wright Brothers’ Kitty Hawk?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Oh nothing, just found it curious. The manager must be either an aviation enthusiast or a space race buff like you.”

Vega, like her father, knew that Neil Armstrong, the man famous for being the first man to step on the Moon, had carried during his Apollo 11 mission, a piece of fabric and a piece of wood from the flyer the Wright brothers had successfully tested at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina in 1903.

“Yeah, he must be…” said Lucas suddenly deep in thought.

 

 

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THE ANTARES SECRET – CHAPTER 2: A First Step

Old notebook with image of astronaut on the Moon overimposed

After having lunch with his daughter Vega, Lucas went back to his studio and spent the afternoon working on a client’s website. It was 2008 and the site looked like it was done in the early days of the World Wide Web. It needed a revamping badly. He tried to focus on the task at hand but for some strange reason he couldn’t shake off Vega’s comment about the Kitty Hawks’ manager possibly being a Space Race buff. After a while, curiosity got the best of him and he pulled out a battered notebook from a special section in his studio’s bookshelves.

It was filled with notes he had written through the years about different things associated with the Space Race. Some referred to aspects he found odd and others pointed out things that he thought needed a better explanation. Chief among them was, of course, why we haven’t gone back? But that was not what he was looking for that time. He flipped the pages until he got to the topic of the Apollo 11 Moon landing. His notes included a comment that simply stated, “Did they???”

Lucas was not a conspiracy enthusiast. He believed the claim that the U.S. never made it to the Moon was ludicrous. The fact that proponents of that idea were the ones that got the most airtime made him think that the extremely outlandish conspiracy theories were promoted by NASA itself to somewhat discredit the more reasonable ones. After all, there were some valid theories about the Apollo 11 Moon landing being faked. The extremely poor quality of the video has being one of the most compelling arguments, but to Lucas, Armstrong’s relative silence after being the first freaking human to step on the Moon was the proverbial smoking gun. The fact that after becoming a historical figure as the first man on the Moon he spent the rest of his life not as immersed in the limelight as one would expect, always felt odd to Lucas.

A wild thought crossed his mind and immediately went over to his computer to Google Neil Armstrong. He found nothing that would infer the former astronaut was a baseball fan, but something curious appeared in his search. In 1994, the Major League’s Houston Astros distributed a special baseball commemorating the 25th anniversary of man’s first Moon landing. It featured the team’s logo as well as the signatures of both Armstrong and fellow Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin.

Although Lucas didn’t find what he was looking for, a little voice kept telling him to dig further. Old Houston Astros CapFeeling stumped he decided to go to his fantasy baseball website to check on that day’s matchup with the Kitty Hawks. The pairing came up on the screen and what jumped right straight at him was the Hawks’ team logo, something he hadn’t paid attention to before. They were using a Houston Astros vintage cap logo – the one with a capital H in front of a star.

He went back to Googling Armstrong. Armstrong and Houston Astros. Armstrong and baseball. Since the man was from Ohio he Googled Armstrong and Cincinnati Reds, just in case he had ever mentioned he was a fan of that team. Nothing.

He gave up Googling and opted for a different approach – he wrote to the Kitty Hawks’ manager through the fantasy baseball website system.

“Good luck tonight. By the way, I like your logo,” he wrote trying to start a conversation.

He wasn’t expecting an immediate reply so he went back to his client’s website design.

After a couple of hours he got a message back.

“Same to you.  Are you from Ohio?”

The question referred to Lucas’ choice of the Cleveland Indians’ logo for his Red Lions fantasy team. Chief Wahoo, the character in the emblem, was a controversial issue and Lucas was in favor of phasing it out. Nevertheless he had chosen it because, besides being his beloved Indians logo, he felt that Red Lion sounded like a Native American name.

“Thanks. Big Indians fan but not from Ohio. Just wondering, why the Kitty Hawks?”

“I grew up near Dayton.”

“?”

“The Wright brothers lived and worked in Dayton, Ohio. They chose to test their flyer at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina because of the wind patterns there. For that reason some people refer to their original flyer as the Kitty Hawk. I know that it is not the correct name but I like the sound of it.”

“It has a nice ring to it. Interesting, isn’t it, that flight in the U.S. was first accomplished in a place called Kitty Hawk?”

“Yes it is. Well, good luck tonight” and just like that the Kitty Hawks’ manager signed off.

Lucas reviewed the conversation a couple of times and then made a quick Google map inquiry. Neil Armstrong was born and raised in Wapakoneta, Ohio, which, as it turned out, was less than an hour away from Dayton…

 

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THE ANTARES SECRET – CHAPTER 3: The Old Man and the Moon

,Full moon rising on the countryside behind the silhouettes of two wine glasses

The man was too old to deal with gratuitously stressful situations. Thankfully, he could identify from a mile away a situation with the potential of getting him into deep waters fast. Throughout most of his life he had had to deal with the nuances of being a reluctant celebrity and had become familiar with most of the back doors fans tended to use to access him. Above all he treasured his privacy and just wanted to live the few remaining years of his life peacefully away from the limelight. Nevertheless, it was 2008, he was approaching his 78th birthday and a feeling of remorse was creeping in, not for what he had done but for what he hadn’t.

Some days he found himself entertaining the idea of telling the whole world everything and the hell with it. He thought that, maybe for such a venture he would be willing to leave the peace and quite of his self-imposed exile. Before long, his musings were interrupted by his wife’s voice…

“Hey honey, cutting down a cherry tree?”

“Just some fantasy baseball stuff… and building up an appetite. What’s for dinner?”

“One of your favorites, roasted squab with potatoes and gravy.”

“It smells delicious.”

Carol was his second wife. He looked at her with loving eyes as he remembered the day they met at a golf tournament sixteen years ago. She was a widow at the time, and he was trying to rebuild his life after a heart-wrenching divorce. The seating arrangements placed them side by side at the breakfast table but, she said very little to him. The woman felt overwhelmed by the celebrity status of the man next to her.  Nevertheless, two weeks later he called and asked her what she was doing. She replied she was cutting down a cherry tree with her son, and half and hour later he was knocking on her door, chainsaw in hand, to help out. They married two years later.

“The weather is really nice today,” he said, “what do you say we open a bottle of Cabernet and eat at the veranda while the Moon rises over the tree tops.”

“Sounds lovely, I’ll set the table outside,” she said while giving him a peck on the cheek.

They lived in the countryside and their house had a spectacular view that always looked even better during the lengthening days of spring. They sat on the table and clinked their wine glasses.

“Cheers,” he said. “Carol, I was thinking… what if I told someone the truth?”

“What do you mean the truth?”

He just looked at the rising Moon in the darkening blue sky.

“Are you serious? You can’t just go out there and tell the world what you know. Besides, there would be serious consequences. Your reputation will be reduced to ashes, plus who knows what the government will put you through. Listen, you weren’t even supposed to tell me. Why are you bringing this up now?”

“I’m tired Carol. They say that on the deathbed one regrets not what one did but what one didn’t. And what I didn’t do was stand for the truth. You’ve made me feel young again, but I don’t know how many more years I have left, and I really don’t want any regrets when the time comes. Not to mention that a man died 10 years ago without the world knowing what he had truly done, without getting the credit he truly deserved. I think the time has come.”

“What about your aversion to the media? You would have to relive all the media frenzy you endured almost 40 years ago… but on steroids.”

“This is just preliminary, but my plan doesn’t include the media. It doesn’t even involve a big splash. Let me refill the wine glasses and I’ll tell you what I have in mind…”

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THE ANTARES SECRET – CHAPTER 4: The Patch Collection

Image of binder containing Vega's collection of Apollo mission patches in front of her bedroom closet

Vega entered her apartment after another long day at the law firm, and went straight to her bedroom closet. There, on the top shelf, was the cardboard box she was looking for. From it she pulled out a three-ring binder with gold lettering embossed on its black cover.

It was his father’s old collection of the Apollo program mission patches. He had given it to her when she was 10 years old. His way of showing her how much he loved that she shared his interest for the space race. This had always been one of her most precious possessions. A treasured symbol of the special bond she had with her dad.

Since lunch, a little voice kept telling her to look into that collection. She began staring at the colorful embroidered patches in the album without really searching for anything in particular. While doing so she could hear her father explaining them to her like it was yesterday.

“The Apollo astronauts had a lot to say about their mission patches. Some of them even took it upon themselves to design theirs. Looking at them is like taking a trip into the astronauts’ minds,” he told her the first time he showed her the collection. And then he would go through each one of them explaining their missions.

Apollo 1 mission patchApollo 1’s patch irony was not lost on her. She couldn’t help thinking about the astronauts’ family members while staring at the patch showing a command module orbiting Earth.  A mission that never left the launch pad where a fire ended the life of astronauts Gus Grissom, Ed White and Roger Chaffee.

The mission numbers then jumped from one to seven. According to NASA there were some unmanned missions between 1 and 7. Her father always doubted their official numbering story.

Apollo 7 mission patch“The mission commander for Apollo 7 was Walter Schirra, one of the Mercury seven original astronauts,” her father would say.  “After the Apollo 1 tragedy, NASA needed all the positive vibes available in the universe. So they went with lucky number seven. Remember that all the Mercury missions used that same number and they were all successful. Of course NASA would never accept they were as superstitious as the next guy so they came up with this cockamamie story about obscure unmanned missions that only they knew about, or understood for that matter.”

Vega noted something she hadn’t before in the Apollo 7 patch. Although the key visuals on it were similar to Apollo 1’s – they both featured a command module orbiting Earth – on this one the ship’s engine was lighted while on Apollo 1’s it wasn’t. Did the astronauts do that on purpose? You know, to indicate that this one would get off the ground… and avoid their predecessor’s fate after featuring what could be referred to as a dead engine in their patch. Was this superstition at work again? She wondered… but moved on.

Apollo 8 mission patchApollo 8’s had always been her favorite – a very sleek design that featured a red “8” denoting both the mission number, and the circumlunar trajectory of the mission. The design was first conceived by mission astronaut Jim Lovell who then prepared a sketch and gave it to the NASA artist in charge of the project.

Apollo 9 mission patchApollo 9’s mission patch was probably the least appealing of them all. Her father used to compare it to an elementary school textbook diagram. She moved over quickly to the Apollo 10 patch – another one of her favorites. Apollo 10 mission patchA pretty busy design, unlike Apollo 8’s sleek one, but somehow it worked in a very pleasant manner. Mission astronauts Young and Cernan designed it and its shield-like outer shape gave it a space ranger flair.

She turned the page and came face to face with the most famous patch in the history of space flight – Apollo 11’s landing eagle insignia.

“This one here is where it all started,” her father would tell her. “When I was a little kid I swallowed NASA’s official version regarding the meaning of this design. The eagle with the olive branch in its talons representing the United States going to the Moon in peace. And no astronaut names on it because the feat was an achievement for all humanity. But as I grew older I started to feel there was another more revealing meaning to it.”

Apollo 11 mission insigniaThe first time he said that my eyes opened up like Frisbees, thought Vega.

“Mission astronaut Michael Collins designed the insignia,” he would go on, “and I truly believe he and the rest of the crew decided to leave their names out of it for another reason. In case they didn’t land on the Moon and had to go to their backup plan. The one  in which only the image of the United States accomplishes it. What if their real mission was to make the world believe they had landed regardless of whether or not they did.  Back then, there was a great deal of pressure on NASA to fulfill Kennedy’s dream. Plus the reputation of the United States was on the line. Not to mention the political pressure associated to the Soviet Union’s parallel efforts to reach our companion in the cosmos.”

But they did land on the Moon Dad, Vega could hear herself say with the innocence of a ten year old.

“The United States did, yes,” he would say, “but not Apollo 11. To the astronauts’ credit, they tried, but had to abort and go with the backup plan – make the world believe they did.”

Vega was incredulous the first time she heard her father’s theory. Then, after reading a great deal about the Apollo missions through the years she had to conclude that something didn’t quite match. Especially suspicious were those of Apollo 12 and 13, just ahead of the Kitty Hawk mission.